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I am pretty much i the same boat as you - single parent of three kids who went back to school to make a better way for myself. First off, understand that you did the right thing! No matter what you are studying, having an advanced degree is essential in this world. The time and effort you have put in will show potential employers that you have tenacity and are willing to go above and beyond for your dreams.

Now, in our current economic situation, your dream job may still seem far away. That is the situation I and many others are in at the moment. However, having been in this boat for a year now, I am beginning to see a turnaround. Things are beginning to improve. The job market is opening up a bit, so hang in there.

Since you are speaking of the future in your post, I have to ask if you would be willing to move out of Utah. I lived in Montana for a while - beautiful place, but no jobs. I moved to California, Arizona and Texas over the years and found that they had better job markets for me. You didn't say what you degree is in, but if you cannot move from Utah, perhaps looking at jobs in local government may be a good idea. Both State and Federal jobs have good pay and benefits. Municipal jobs also have decent salary and benefits, but they are a little more risky as municipalities are having to cut back of late - again, that may be a short term action and may reverse itself in the future, so you should keep that as a possibility.

To get through the "now" problems - you stated that you have a disabled son. Is he receiving any benefits from the state? If not, you need to look into that. Also look into the possiblity of his getting Social Secirity disability. It certainly can't hurt to look into what options may be available to you. Food banks can be helpful for more than food. They are often staffed by volunteers who know of other services that may be available to you, so ask questions if you go to visit one.

And hang in there with the prayers. Talk with your guardian angel. They are with you to help and only need to be asked. Just remember that they may take a bit of time to respond because they are not working the the sema realm as we are - thing stake a bit of time to transition. I found that after I began asking my guardian angel for help, things improved dramatically within t matter of weeks.  

I am a single Mom, and have had to one day at a time make the commitment at times to do the best I can for that given day, when times are tough.  I also have learning disabilities, and have had another disability to contend with.  I can only speak from my own experience of the things that have helped me, please feel free to take works and leave the rest.  By the way did I tell you I was told I was never college material, as a single Mom I'm now finishing my Master's Degree, one step of taking just one class brought me here.  You never know where one step of faith can bring you.

Things that have helped me are a single-Mom's support group at my school, looking at my beliefs about lack and listening to material about manifestation, being around friends or people who motivate me, they have meet up groups for single-parents, some churches offer single-parent groups, going on single-parent retreats, or just getting a scholarship through a local YMCA to go to a family camp, or a woman's retreat!  Taking time to have some respite no matter what was important to me.  My spirituality for me was key!  That may not be for everyone and that is ok.  I do know doing something simple like making time to take walks, mediation, tai-chi-chich, and getting support from friends and family members has been helpful!  I have even done guided imagry and spend a few minutes picturing my life as though it has already happened and the prosperity and ease is here!  I take time to reflect and thank my creator daily, for all that I have and I also send thanks for what I am opening myself up to!

Some books like Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" have been helpful, as well as hayhouse radio.  It is an on-line radio show, that offers a new thought message, some of it is spiritually based but many who don't have the spiritual affiliation have found it helpful too!  Sometimes I have to take a few minutes each day to do the things that make me feel rich.  It sounds too simplistic to me, but some of them include, telling my child I'm taking a break and going to my room, don't interrupt unless it's an emergency, I then set a timmer and say you can get me when it goes off.  Taking a few minutes to meditate before I go to bed, I do an on-line meditation, taking a half an hour to excercise three times a week.  Just getting out in nature!  Everyone has their own thing!  I do know that taking a vacation is huge!  Balancing school, single-Mom, internship, I find a way to get a scholarship to take a vacation or schedule in massages at a massage school as a treat, I use my holiday money for it too!  Even if I can afford them only a few times a year.  This all seems simple but it adds up.  The meetup groups on-line for single parents can be helpful! 

Those are just my way's, I do know what is like to hit the wall, but there is always a way to get up.  Keep dreaming, keep believing, even if it is for one more minute, or one more day, that this is the best I can do in this moment. For me taking time to do things that bring me joy is important, as the more I tune into that I attract more joyful people, and ease.  It sounds easier said than done, but it's one step at a time, I schedule in the breaks, or massages, etc. just like I would a Dr appt for my kid. 

Just keep hanging in there and never give up.  The state says they are here to help, but they have all the catches to them.  For instance, I am told I qulify for state health benefits, but I always get turned down.  Unless you have money well atleast in new jersey you just have to over extend yourself. 

I'm in a similar situation, but I can't find work.  I'm currently living with my parents, on state assistance.  I want a job!  I've heard about grants, supposedly there are sites where you can tell your story and get grant money, but I can't find anything.  State assistance is pitiful.  My parents live in a very small area and there are simply no jobs here!  My husband was taken away in Oct.  I can't afford to declare bankruptcy.  I can't afford to get divorced from him.  I can't afford school lunches!  I am in dire straits and see no way out of it.  I'm so depressed, but trying to keep up the happy face for the kids.  It's so hard.  I feel so cheated.  8 years with him, out of the blue he was arrested.  I found out that he's been lying to me all these years.  He hasn't hurt my children, but he abused his daughter in a previous marriage.  It took 8 years for the warrant to catch up to him.  For the last 2 years I was a stay at home mom, we had moved to Indiana, far away from my family in Maryland, for his job.  Then we lost it all when he was taken.  We lost our home, our 2 cars, we had to give up our dog.  My daughters and I are devastated.  We've lost so much and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. 

Dear Bluejay63:  I was in your shoes a few short years ago and I suplemented my income by doing nightime daycare.  I went to the businesses that had 24/7 shifts and talked to the managers. I told them if they gave my telephone number to those employees that called in with babysitting problems on the third shift I could help them out and that would help them be better employees and thence help him the manager.  Meanwhile I helped myself.  I had to be at home at night for my own kids and I just got rid of the coffee table and had kids sleeping in sleeping bags on my livingroom floor.  I didn't charge a fortune and that helped the parents.  Its not easy coordinating your normal life with that of the working parents but we all found a way and started helping each other. I had one mother who got off early and was wiling to take the kids still at my house to hers so I could get to my job on time.  You'd be surprised that in helping others you can help yourself.  After five years of saving and doing this I was able to afford my very first home.  Even if you hate the idea kids are cutest and behave the best when they are asleep!  Good luck this is just a suggestion you might not have thought of.  Nancy McGuire

Im in a similar situation. The only answers I have found is keeping 2 jobs to keep the income. The only way to provide the necessities is by neglecting time spent with your kids. That is such a sickening and sad answer, but it keeps me alive. No one person can provide the things it takes to properly parent a family. The only thing we can do is give it 110% and hope it doesn't drive you into the ground trying. I put up a post about another idea that could help, and something I've been thinking on for a long time. If you have any ideas to further that, please let me know.

I very much respect you for making the choice of being a single parent under the circumstances and for the reasons you describe!!! No doubt, living without abuse at home, whether you or your children were being abused, is the right choice! Well done!!!Things can only get better from there: - )!!!

Being a single mom with all its responsibilities and work (and noone to share it with), working and studying at the same time, you are really doing your very best to take care of both yourself and your family! Don't quit your studies, if at all you can make it to continue!!! As you say, this is your only way to a better life later, student loans or not. With our ardor I believe you can make it!

What I'd do first of all, is cut ALL unnecessary spending, immediately. (I have had a six months period in my life, when I had to run a family of myself and my four children on an income of 2,000 Israeli sheqels, which is equal to 560 USD a month, until the court decided for my ex-husband to pay his due to the children.)

First, I spoke to the tax authorities and agreed with them on a payment plan for the taxes I owed on the house. They were very kind, once I got there and spoke to them, and I could pay a sum each month that was actually possible for me to pay. Later, as my divorce was finalized, I got a tax-reduction of 80%, the remain is a sum that I am able to pay. Unfortunately, to get the reduction, I have to pay the yearly tax amount all at once, but I plan accordingly. - If you in any way can reduce your tax or rent/house payments, then do so. Be sure to agree with authorities, so that they don't come down on you.

Then I cut absolutely ALL spending that was not vital for survival. No buying of clothes, shoes, sodas, biscuits, fastfoods, convenience foods or entertainment. I planned meals for one or two weeks at a time and increased the veggie meals per week and decreased the meals with meat and chicken. Two days a week we had canned food like beans or a tuna salad. One day cooked vegetables, patties, gratins or something like that. One day grains like rice or burghul cooked with vegetables. I cooked minced meat and chicken and froze in one cup portions (enough for one meal). Easy to take out of the freezer and mix with beans or vegetables to make a stew. Any butter that had been used to fry meat or chicken was saved to make gravy, to pour over boilde rice or potatoes another day. Breakfast and dinner were very frugal. Cheese and cold meat were substituted with sliced tomatoes, cucumber, parsley, for sandwiches. Fried onion with tomatoes make a nice dip for bread. White bread with oil and garlic makes a tasty snack. Since food prices have risen this year, I follow such a menu in these days as well! A you have teen-age boys at home, they can break your budget in one raid to the refrigerator! Do freeze everything in portions. Have free foods like potatoes, rice and bread but portion out the rest! - One can of tuna is enough for one big bowl of tuna salad AND one big potato gratin with onion and tuna in it!!!!! - If you don't have money, DO NOT BUY A LOT OF THINGS, stock up on sales or store things in your cupboards!!! Keep your money in your pocket for as long as possible to keep flexible!!! - 29 tuna cans in your cupboard can't help you when your child gets ill at night and needs a doctor immediately, dollars in your pocket CAN!

Try to get things for free from your relatives, clothes that they don't need anymore, cooking utensils, help with repairs at home and so on. If relatives can't help you, perhaps you have a friend or the husband of a friend can help you. Say thankyou with a home made cake, so the giving goes two ways: - )!

Put a clothes line in your bathroom, over the tub, and let everyone dry their towel there directly after showeing, in stead of putting it in the hamper immediately! At least in my family, this saved an incredible amount of washing - and water, electricity and detergent!

I agree with you, do not take a loan! A loan will not help you, but rather the opposite! In stead, try to control your spending in stead of letting it control you.

Best wishes!

I totally understand i am so at this place right now and i sometimes feel stupid because i am a single mom by choice and i find myself thinking why did i choose to do this when i am having so many problems i have never been in a place where i have to choose what bill to pay. I just need a hand i will pay it forward someday.  there is no one to give that hand though i feel stuck and no matter how hard i try it really doesnt seem to matter.  i have home repairs that need attention and no one to help do them.  what is a single mom to do.

HI Snorks,

Welcome! you ahve come to the right place. Many of us are single moms trying to just get by. I know that place you're in...I have been there for 12 years - I am there.  My kids are older 22 & 16. One is doen with college, one is just starting. Does it get better? Yes, some days are better than others, some not so much. Some days are much more frustrating than others. 2 incomes are definitely a plus but I do have to say that from a mother's ( and a woman's) point of view, that I couldn't be more proud that you took a stand for your children. You did what few women have the courage to do. But that doesn;t mean that you should not be solely responsible for the children's financial support. I know going after the EX for support is difficult - especially if he is in jail -  but it is necessary, additionally, you should be receiving alimony. Furthermore, if your son is disabled, he may be entitled to SSD which could help alleviate some of your financial burden. 

I know it is tough, especially when you work for a living. There is so much you SHOULD be entitled to, but because you work, you are penallized for it. IT should be the other way around, I know. I wish I could be more helpful. I wish I could tell you I had a magic secret that got me through, but I don't.  You get through one day at a time and try to enjoy it as much as you possibly can.